Her

Never would I thought that I will find such
Oasis of my desert, I wouldn't wish for much
Everytime our eyes meet,
Lessens my fears, my tears, my doubts
Efforts to know her, do you think its easy?
Defer other thoughts, to at least make her know me

Embrace to comfort her, I'll do
Not a day I'll tell her what's not true
In my heart she'll always be there
Amaranth it would, and will always be
Listen, it beats fast I feel
Empyreal may it be but how I wish it's for real

Right before my eyes,
Everything seems so nice
Forever may not be enough, but
In due time the whole world I'll shout that,
Nevertheless, I do like her
Nevertheless, I do love her
Empty, that's what I don't want to be
Just wait and see, I'll make her fall in love with me

Five reasons why I wrote this

As I was sitting along one of the seats in the jeepney, I can’t stop thinking what happened before I sat there.

First is that one of the persons closest to me has just celebrated her birthday. I gave her a gift that I bought in a mall just before going to class. Am I doing this just because it’s her birthday? Apparently not. I am doing this because I have developed a deep attachment to that person. But that attachment seems to just rust out as every day passes. I do not know why and I am hoping that she would tell me so that I could clear my mind regarding that matter.

Second, I have met my long lost friends wherein they are one of the reasons why I am showing one of my alter egos, my jolly side. It’s as if I am Sensui in the anime, Ghost Fighter.

Third, I have gained a new acquaintance and a new friend as well in the form of the student council’s head of the finance committee (hugs, hugs, hugs. Hahahaha). In an instant, I became one of the staff under the finance committee. We do share some stories and found out that we have things in common.

Fourth, (angry… just a little…) I am thinking why I am being badly criticized by someone whom I do not have any hard feelings with not until now. It’s not that I do not accept criticisms, it’s just because it affects the way I get along with you and with others as well. Don’t be surprised when I turn my back on you, it’s your fault anyway. We both work professionally but outside the room, it’s as if you are just another person who wants to pull me down through your messages. Do not use those crappy “--- ---- --- --- I am” and “--- --- --- ---- me enough” excuses as your scapegoat. That won’t work on me. If I had not noticed what you have done, I would just be an idiot smiling to you while you do those things that would ruin other person’s impression to me. Who wants to be backstabbed anyway? I can’t let this kind of things happen to me so I have to type it out. Now let’s get this straight. Why are you doing this to me? Is it because I loved the things that you loved? Are you sure that I loved that person just because I want to go with the flow? Let me tell you something. I do have my own mind that tells me what I should do and my own heart that tells me what I should feel. Do not be selfish, she’s not even yours in the first place and I ought to tell this also: “I will not also be selfish ‘cause she’s neither mine in the first place”. Don’t let this get worse else, everything that we’ve been built will just turn into trash and that person would turn her back on both of us. Either of us doesn’t want that to happen, right? I am willing to talk regarding this matter and resolve this petty quarrel. I don’t get mad easily but when things get worst, you’ll see where I hide my envidias. And by the way, don’t say that I am just mimicking you. Nothing is original in this era. “Even the word original is sometimes faked.”

Fifth, those four things stated above really gave me some of life’s lessons. There are instances that:

a) you need your friend’s advice to supply that missing piece of the puzzle.

b) It is not always love that makes our world go round. Sometimes, it is our decision whether we want to make it go round or turn the other way around.

c) Plans that were made are very much better done than said.

d) Words that can’t come out of your mouth to avoid hurting anyone… comes out in the net!

Uhh.. wala munang title...

Eto, mga quotable quotes (What?!) na nakuha ko sa mga pinagpapanuod ko sa DVD...

"Some heroes are born and destined for greatness. Others are just made everyday men and women and... just dogs who rise up in times of crisis no matter how high the odds are stacked against them. These are the heroes we all have inside us."
- Shoeshine, Underdog"Life doesn't always work out what we expected."-Jack, Underdog"Not all persons can be great artists, but all great artists came from simple persons."-Chef Gusteau, Ratatouille

Desilusiones

Saturday, Sept. 7, 2007. English subject namin. "Group yourselves in five for your project 5-8". Naisip ko, kailangan lubusin. Text ko nga si __. "Ei, sama nio nman ako sa group nio.". Nagreply siya nung nassa bahay na ako. "Ei, sorry, nakapagdecyd na kami na kamikami na lang ulet sa grup bago ko mabasa text mo, sory talaga.". "e d b, dpat ibang grpmates nman?". "Sorry talaga"... Nakakasama ng loob... yung taong pinagkatiwalaan mo ang sanhi ng unang sama ng loob ko sa linggong ito. Mabuti na lang at nagsorry siya at di pa nadagdagan ang sama ng loob ko...

Monday, Sept. 10, 2007. Papasok na ako sa UST. Tumatawid ako sa kalsada upang makapunta sa kabilang lane ng kalsada nang biglang, "Beeeeeppp!!!" isang mamang nakasakay sa scooter ang bumusina sa likod ko at sumigaw na.. "Magpapakamatay ka ba? wag mo kong idamay sa kat******duhan mo!!"... Sumama ang loob ko, wala naman akong ginawang masama o kaya nama'y atraso sa taong to para murahin ako ng ganoon. Masarap din naman siyang sigawan ng "Hoy, tarantado ka din! ang laki laki ng kalsada, sa gilid ka nagpapatakbo. Hwag mo nga akong idamay sa kagaguhang ginagawa mo!" pero hindi dahil mabait akong tao.. totoo naman di ba? Naisip ko na lang habang naghihintay ng bus, "Tangna, bakit ako ginaganito? wala naman akong ginagawang masama ah... at katarantaduhan na palang tumawid ng kalsada... lintek, mabundol ka sana ng trak dyan...". di pa nagtatapos ang sama ng loob ko sa araw na ito... matapos ng klase, may mga kaibigan akong nagkukwentuhan.. at kasama ako doon... "oy, alam nyo ba... ay, di pala alam ni Ken yun, wag na lang...hahaha"... naisip ko, "ang tagal na nitong nagsasabi na magkukwento sa akin pero ngayon wala pa akong alam... tapos pagmumukhain pa akong tanga sa kwentuhan nila..."... nag walk out ako dahil sa sama ng loob.. makalipas ang ilang sandali, nagtext siya, "uy ken! asan ka na? bat bigla kang nawala? bukas kukwentuhan kita ng malupit". lalong sumama ang loob ko. isang pangakong palaging napapako... parang gusto kong sabihin sa harap niya na, "Hoy, hwag ka nang magkuwento kung hindi mo naman itutuloy! happy birthday na lang sayo..."... umuwi ako ng bahay na masamang masama ang loob... "Uy, Ken! sasama ka ba? pupunta tayo sa Las Piñas! birthday ng pinsan mo".. naisip ko na dun na lang din gawin ang practice exam ng prof at kumuha ng anti virus para sa PC ko. "Sige, bilisan lang natin, marami akong gagawin"... bibigyan ko kayo ng spoiler... "Masama ulit ang loob ko dahil sa tita at mga pinsan ko, ayoko sa kanila. Hindi ako aasa sa kanila".. muli, mga pangakong napapako... "I don't deserve this kind of life!" parang gusto kong umiyak. Parang gusto kong sabihin na kailangan ko ng karamay, kailangan ko ng mapaglalabasan ng sama ng loob. Parang gusto kong sabihin na, "Comfort me, PLEASE! *tears*" pero parang walang makikinig...

Equivalence: Nothing is Created Equal.

"Maraming taong mahirap pakisamahan kahit pilitin mo. Kadalasan, silang pinipilit mong pakisamahan ang pilit na magbabagsak sayo."

Thoughts Left Unsaid

"I should not have done that." - July 22, 2007

"Lips are created to tell how you feel. Eyes are created to tell the things how your lips can't. Lips tell stories through words. Eyes tell stories through tears. Yet, why is it that I want to tell something through my eyes but I just cant?" - July 29, 2007

"Sleep well, sleep well. You have stolen, you have stolen, you have stolen my heart." July 30, 2007

"Something tells me that there are things that you must let go and yet I feel something that urges me to continue. What should I do? Should I do what it says or what it feels?" August 2, 2007

"Someone told me that everything could be solved through Mathematics. If that is so, then I could have known the equation of love a long time ago." August 2, 2007

"It takes time, it takes time." August 2, 2007

"And I hate it when someone backstabs me (who likes to be backstabbed anyway?). I didn't do anything wrong to them still, they oppose me without knowing it. I don't keep grudges to anyone but don't wait for me to show you where I keep all my envidia."

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

'Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I

I just want you to know who I am...